Thursday, December 18, 2008

NPR - Reality of Being

I wrote a post, what lies beneath, about living with the body we're given in our life, whether you like it or not. It's simply the reality of our own being. And when we see other people, we sometimes wonder what it's like to be them. We are lost in our own being, and in our imagination, lost in theirs.

It's about acceptance, self and social. But as the saying goes:

"To be nobody but myself --
in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else --
means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting."

-E.E. Cummings, poet (1894-1962)

it's about the mirror and the front door.

Facing what we see, what we want to see, what we wish to be, and what we want the world to see. Sometimes they're attainable or at least most of the way there. But we are still hampered if not restricted by our genetics, the gift our parents gave us to be who we are. The rest is up to us. At least we have what and who we are and we can find what's changeable. And we can see what's ahead if we try.

It's the reality of our own being, the same as everyone else but not equal as everyone else. Equality isn't in the cards or the rules, just what is and what can be within our own mind and body. And reality.

And for some, that is the issue and the problem. When you don't like what you are based on who you are, and told throughout your childhood, it's not about who you are but what you are, you're forever stuck with the contradiction, and have to decide which is true. And then make decisions that are both best and right for you.

So, what's my point?

I don't really know except thinking out loud about what and how I see myself. The majority of people are verbally pummelled from their early years to dislike their body, and if not that, then strive to make it better, such as stronger, faster, quicker, and on and on. Some of those pressures are due to what we're doing, sports, dance, ballet, or any physical activity.

And sometiimes it's to be better looking or more beautiful or achieve some measure of someone else's idea of physicality, such as a model. We never hear and never learn to just be and enjoy our own body. There's always something wrong with us or something we can do more or better. But never just be and be ok.

And strive as we do, eventually we see the truth and reality. We just won't get there. And it becomes a point where we have to accept that reality and accept ourselves as we are. We can still strive, but success isn't a goal anymore, but simply striving. The journey from ourselves to ourselves.

And when we pass our 40th birthday and onward toward 50, we discover the work is harder and the results less. We've passed the optimium. The optimium where change can occur for the good and we are just working to stay, and not lose what we had. It's not about gain or better, but simply existing as best we can.

And to make any type of major change, no matter how deeply felt and needed, isn't a reality without some concessions to the truth and to yourself. And what medical science can do to help. It's about trying to understand and accept what limits are there and what we can do within those limits, and then find comfort and maybe satisfaction with the achievable.

In the end, it's still our reality and the truth we live with. As Randy Pausch said, "We can't change the card we're dealt, but we can change how we play the hand."

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