What is the Difference

What's the difference between a candidate and a politician? A candidate will tell you anything to buy your vote. A politician will tell you anything to make you forget what they said as a candidate.

A candidate and a politician walk into a bar. When the bartender asks what they'll have, the candidate says, "I'll buy everyone a round." When the bartender reminded the politician he bought everyone a round before the election, the politican will say, "Well, since they voted for, they can buy me a round."

Don't stand near either a candidate or a politician. The candidate will steal your wallet and call it a campaign donation. The politician will steal your pants and your wallet and will thank you for the being a good taxpayer.

Never trust a candidate any farther than it takes them to walk off stage. Never trust a politician.

A candidate will always remember your name. A politician will never remember you.

A candidate will politely listen to what you have to say, forgetting it once you walk away. A politician will never listen to you and will always tell you what you think.

A candidate will kiss your ass to get your vote. A politician expects you to kiss theirs.

A candidate will promise to balance the budget with your money. A politician will promise to spend your money, your children's money and your grandchildren's money.

A candidate praises their friends and attacks their enemies. A politician praises their friends and attacks the media, the public and everyone else.

A candidate blames the media for their stupid misakes. A politician blames everyone else for theirs.

A candidate ignores the truth and facts and creates their own fantasy of reality. A politician lives in their own fantasy.

A candidate compares themselves to ordinary people to get your vote. A politician doesn't even know ordinary people.

A candidate thinks they have to win an election. A politician knows they can buy one.

A candidate thinks taxes are the enemy. A politician think taxes are great for spending money, your money.

A candidate thinks before talking. A politician talks before thinking, if they think at all.

A candidate always hopes to be a politician. A politician always forgets they were a candidate.

A candidate tries not to be a joke. A politician already is one.

And more when I think of them.